Grade: 45/50

Character Sketch 1

Kyle Phillips is a nerdy 26-year-old assistant manager at a video store who wants some direction in his life. He’s been working at the same store for almost four years. He’s been working up to the manager position for half that, with no luck. During all this time he’s been trying to figure out what he really wants to do with his life. Kyle knows that he doesn’t want to be an assistant manager or even a manager at a video store for the rest of his life, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s been attempting to go back to school for the past few years, but every time he starts he loses all motivation and wants to quit. He always remembers this saying his dad told him once; it’s stuck with him, “find something that you would do for free and that’s how you know it’s something you enjoy.”

Character Sketch 2
Derrick Hendricks is an ambitious 27-year-old web designer and blogger who wants to be successful. As soon as Derrick graduated from high school he went to school for web design and also took multiple writing courses. Since then he’s been creating and running multiple websites. He’s also been building websites for other companies as his main source of income. He loves what he does and he’s good at it. Derrick has a lot of sites where he does co-blogging with other writers. Another large source of his income is from advertising that he’s done on all of his sites and co-blogging sites. He likes to share his knowledge of blogging and web design with everyone and tries to better himself at it while doing so.

Create a Story

It was just a normal day in hell; that’s what Kyle Phillips calls his job as an assistant manager at a local video store. He’s been stuck at the same job for almost four years. Kyle always imagined himself doing bigger and better things once he graduated high school. Instead he’s dropped out of college multiple times and stuck at a dead end job. Kyle can’t seem to figure out anything that he would enjoy doing.

While at work he saw a man walk in that looked extremely familiar, but he couldn’t place where he remembered him from. As the man was walking around the store looking at the movies it hit him; they went to high school together. His name is Derrick Hendricks and he was one of the smartest guys in his high school.

Once Derrick was done wandering around looking at the movies he headed up to the counter to check out. Kyle was working the registers because the other employees were stocking the shelves. Derrick set his movies on the counter; Grandma’s Boy and 40 Year Old Virgin. Derrick was a fan of comedies.

When Derrick noticed the man behind the counter he noticed right away that it was Derrick Phillips from high school. He immediately struck up a conversation with him; “Hey! It’s Kyle, right? Remember me from high school? I’m Derrick Hendricks.”

Kyle was surprised that Derrick remembered him at all. He wasn’t nearly as popular as Derrick was. “Hey! Yeah, I remember you! How are you doing?” Kyle said to Derrick.

“I’ve been really good. I’ve been running quite a few of my own websites and doing a bunch of web designing. What about you? How have you been since high school?” Derrick was genuinely interested in how Kyle has been. He wondered why Kyle was working at a video store. He remembered Kyle in high school and knew that he’d been a pretty smart kid and great with computers.

“I’ve been doing alright. Just working here, there’s really not much else to tell. I’ve taken a few college courses, but there’s nothing I’m really interested in yet. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do.” Kyle laughed at his last statement. He was so envious of Derrick. He seemed to have his life together. He was doing something he enjoyed; that’s what Kyle was most envious of.

Derrick could tell that Kyle didn’t seem too thrilled with where his life is right now. He’s been looking for someone recently to start helping him with his computers. “Hey, you’re good with computers right? I know you were in high school. I’ve been looking to change out a bunch of my systems. I’ve also wanted to build a new computer. Do you think you would be interested in something like that? I was also looking for some to start a new website with.”

Kyle’s mouth practically fell open out of shock. “Yeah, I’m still pretty good with computers I can definitely help you with anything you need. Just give me a call and I can help.” Kyle wrote his number down on the back of a handout from the counter and gave it to Derrick. “Thanks, man. I really appreciate the opportunity to help you. You don’t understand how much this means to me.”

But little did Kyle know Derrick did know how much it meant to him. This experience was going to change his life and get him out of that video store for good; just like he wants.

Teacher comments:
I like the characters, especially the guy in the store. You did well staying in his POV. Watch your verb tense -- you slipped just a bit at the end of the story into present tense. Work on making your dialogue smoother and more natural. Guys usally talk (even in fiction) in really short sentences. This just takes practice on every writer's part.  Try to open more into the action and save the backstory for later.  Good grammar!! Looking forward to your revisions.

Lesson Objectives

By the end of this lesson, you should be able to:

• Relate a short, dynamic interplay between two characters.
• Dramatize "real" humans in form and behavior.
• Appraise character and characterization on an intellectual level.

When writing about a character (the person), you must characterize (illustrate and make the personality real) that person using every tool at your disposal.

You will have the makings of a character when you can fill out this sentence: (Name) is a (adj.) ___-year-old (noun) who wants ____________.

Example: Jeremy Glazer is a beligerent 17-year-old basketball player who wants respect.

Five-Minute Exercises:

• List the contents of a woman's purse.  wallet, make-up, pen, tissues, nail clippers, sanitary napkins, chap stick, digital camera, head phones, cell phone
• List what a man carries in his pockets.  cell phone, wallet, chapstick, change
• List the contents of a person's garbage can.  tissues, empty cup, crumpled paper, movie tickets, banana peel, receipts

I just liked these because it's true: Maya Angelou is credited with saying that you can tell a lot about a person by how he/she handles rainy days, lost luggade and tangles Christmas lights.  Dave Berry is reported to say that you can know a lot about a person by how he/she speaks to a waitress.

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1. Creative Writing Assignment ~ Topic: Character (50 points -750 words).  For this assignment, you will create two character sketches (250 words total), and create a 500-word story.  Follow the directions listed below:

• Character sketches: Follow the advice earlier in the lesson.  You might begin with a list of traits: looks, "feels," sounds, describe the characters "taste" in things, smell - or their overall sort of ambiance.  Now, turn that list into a sketch, as if you're describing this character to someone who doesn't know them yet.  The link above gave you an idea of a shape your sketch might take.  Do that for two characters and keep that work to a page.

• Create a story: The idea here is to show these characters interacting with each other, speaking, acting and reacting to the other person.  Invent a setting for them and see what happens.  If you need a launch place, put them in a car or in a boat.  Write 500 words (about two pages).

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This weekend I stressed myself out.  It was completely unnecessary, but that is what I do.  Needless to say, I asked my teacher for an extension on my homework.  It was due Saturday, but she allowed me to turn it in on Monday.  Which I did.  I was honestly about to give up.  Which is what I do, but I didn't.  I pushed on and completed my work. Woo!  I hope you enjoy it.

Grade: 50/50

a. 250 words in first person - Start with: "I saw..."

I saw a man driving dark blue car speeding down the residential street, not paying any attention to his surroundings. Out of nowhere a dog ran across the street; the dog was black with a large white patch on its side. The man in the dark blue car didn’t notice the dog running across the street and he hit it. Once he realized what happened, he slammed on his breaks. Once I saw what happened I screamed and ran over to check on the dog. I had never been in a situation like this before. I wasn’t sure if there was someone I should call, the police? I checked to see if the dog was breathing. I felt his chest still rising and falling with each breath that he took.

The man in the dark blue car took awhile to get out of the car. I wasn’t sure if he was just shocked or if he really didn’t care what just happened. I had hoped it was the former. But soon after I found out it was not, he didn’t care about the poor defenseless dog he had just hit.

While I was leaning over the dog trying to figure what exactly was wrong with him, I heard the man start to say something. At first I couldn’t understand him, but then I realized he was just telling me to drag the dog out of his way so he could just get to work. I don’t understand how someone could be so careless about an animal that he just hit. I will never understand. 

b. 250 words in second person - Start with: "You won't believe..."

You won’t believe what happened to you when you were a puppy. It was so many years ago. You were a stray running around the neighborhood when some woman in a little black Mazda Miata hit you.

I remember running over to you to make sure you were alright. I could tell you were still breathing just from looking at you; your chest was slowing rising and falling. When I looked at you lying there I felt an ache in my chest. I wanted so badly to take away the hurt that you were feeling.

The lady in the car that hit you felt awful. She immediately ran to her trunk and pulled out a blanket to wrap you up in. She told me she was going to take you to the vet and I could come along with you if I wanted. Once we arrived at the vet, we had to sign in, which felt like years. While holding holding you in my arms, you were trembling with fear and out of pain. Your whimpering made my heart break into a million pieces.

Once we finally got you into the exam I laid your tiny body on the table. The vet entered just a few second later. After a quick exam, he said two of your legs were broken and you had some cracked ribs. But overall, you were pretty lucky. It would take some surgery and a little physical therapy to get you walking. I told the vet that I would take you home and care for you. Here you are today; happy, healthy, and walking.

c. 250 words in third person - Start with: "The dog..."

The dog was wandering around the neighborhood trying to find something on the ground that he could eat. His owners left him in the neighborhood the day before that. They pulled up in front of a house, took off his collar and left him.

While walking around he saw something across the street that looked like food. So he ran toward it and the next thing he felt was intense pain from being hit by a car. A woman that was gardening outside her house ran over to the dog. She could not believe what she had seen. She tried to figure out if he was still breathing. She saw the dog’s chest was still moving, which was a good sign. She could hear the dog whimper when she tried to move him. Unsure of what to do, she called the police.

The dispatch lady on the line told her to wrap the dog up in a towel and take him to the nearest animal hospital. Luckily the man that just hit the dog was still there. She ran back into her house to grab a couple towels. They wrapper the dog up and put him in the man’s car. Once they made it to the animal hospital they were helped immediately. After the vet checked out the dog he told them the dog wasn’t going make it. He had some broken ribs and his legs were broken, amongst many other things. The vet gave them an option; surgery or putting him down.

The woman chose surgery; she wanted to give the dog a chance. She felt like he was a fighter, and the dog proved her right. He made a full recovery, after some hard work. His name is Lucky.

Teacher comments:
Very nice work on these! Usually in second person the author does it like "You won't believe what I saw today..." but I really like how you actually wrote it toward the dog, like you would write a friend. Good work!  Your first person is correct. The last one feels far away (although you did it correctly!), so you can see why usually in today's writing we use third person limited or first person. Good descriptions too. ;)

Thanks for the idea on the second person, Holly!

Here's what you should learn this lesson:

• Voice can be seen in two ways: the voice of characters, and the voice of the author.  Both concepts carry their own sense of importance.
• Point of view is really the vocal footprint of the speaker in your writing.  It answers this question: from where does this voice come?  Point of view is seen in three ways: First person, utilizing the "I" speaker, Second person bring in an imagined "you", and finally Third person, a remote speaker that repors from the perspective of certain players.

This topic definitely helps me with my blog.  Everyone needs their on voice and I'm working on finding mine.

Lesson Objectives

By the end of this lesson you should be able to:

• Demonstrate honest, genuine, precise writing about your life.
• Determine first, second and third person points of view.
• Depict past and present tense.
• Discuss the notion of "voice" as it relates to characters and the author.

First and third person are pretty easy for me to do.  Once I try writing in the second person I seem to forget how to write.  The tenses are easy too, when I pay attention.  If I just start writing then I tend to switch from past to present.  I'm trying to get better at catching it.

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1. Creative Writing Assignment ~ Topic: Point of View (50 points - 750 words).  Start with this single fact: A dog has been hit by a car.  Now write about the incident from three different perspectives: first, second, and third person.  What's important in each exercise is to stick with the assigned point of view.  Each exapmple will be about one page of writing in standard format.

a. 250 words in first person - Start with: "I saw..."

b. 250 words in second person - Start with: "You won't believe..."

c. 250 words in third person - Start with: "The dog..."

Once my assignment is graded I will post my stories along with my grade I get.  Until then, you must wait!

Everytime I think of a journal, I think of the awful ones that I kept as a little girl.  You know what I mean, right?  The one that was filled with a bunch of useless unimportant information.  Yeah, that's what I think about.  I never knew what to write about, so it was a bunch of "Dear Journal/Diary, How are you?"  Yes, I asked "how are you?" to an inanimate object.  Loser.

This one though, is different.  And the great thing is, my workbook gave me a list of things to write about when I get stuck!  Awesome, right?

Write any sort of thing in your journal, and write various kinds of things:

• An observation
• An overheard conversation
• Lists
• Longings
• Your response to a piece of music
• A rough draft of a letter
• Names of characters
• Quotations from what you are reading
• The piece of your mind you'd like to give so-and-so
• An idea for a story
• A memory
• A dream
• A few lines of a poem
• A fantasy conversation
• Titles of things you are never going to write
• Something else

These are great pointers for me when I'm stumped.

It's so simple, and it has a built in bookmark!

Make a habit, rather than a chore, of writing in your journal.  This is exactly how I view my blog.  I don't want to view it as something I have to do, just something that I want to do.  My text book suggests that I write in my journal once a day, but that's been a difficult task for me.  Even though I carry it in my purse with me, I never have time to just stop and write something in it.  I need to make time.

Two of my new goals, for always.

I know Holly from Ready To Be A Mom  requested to see my stories.  Be nice! :)

Grade: 49/50

a. retell an incident from childhood

It was a perfect day in Phoenix. It wasn’t summer yet, which is a good thing if you ask anyone from Phoenix. It was this beautiful day that I took my first trip to Urgent Care – well, at least the first one that I can remember.

I was around four years old at the time and I was playing around on the back porch with our two dogs, Barney, an adorable yellow Labrador retriever and Alexi, a sweet black and white collie mix. The porch was also my father’s work space for the cars and all his tools. There was cover over the patio where my father hung up some of his larger tools. The porch was looking dirty, so I decided to sweep with a broom about twice my size. This ended up being terrible idea.

As I was sweeping there was dirt flying up everywhere. I could taste it with every breath I took. I could hardly see though it. I didn’t notice how close I was getting to the edge of the roof. One second I was sweeping and the next I remember screaming and blood dripping from my face onto the concrete. Barney was standing next to me licking up every drop that fell. A set of vice grip pliers fell on my head, I learned. My parents ran outside to see what happened. Once they saw they told my brother to go grab some towels to put on my head and rushed me out to the car. Everything after this is fuzzy, but I remember being rushed into Urgent Care and having to get stitches. These stitches were my battle wounds that I shared with all my friends at daycare.

b. tell the story of how you got your name (took advantage of fictionalizing, by adding onto the story, my name was picked out of a romance novel)

My mother has always been a reader. For as long as I can remember she’s always had a book in her hands. So it’s natural that’s where she found my name.

When you’re a child you’re naturally inquisitive. I always asked my mother a bunch of questions. I remember asking her, how did you come up with my name? It was a simple answer; I found it in a book I was reading at the time of my pregnancy. That answer wasn’t good enough for me; so I pushed further asking more questions. What book was it? Where were you when you were reading it? Why did my name stand out? Overwhelmed, she told me she had to think about all those questions. She said, give me a day and I will answer all the questions you have about your name.

My mother came to me the next day, sat me down and said ask away. I started with the easiest, what book were you reading when you found my name? She said it was a romance novel titled Along Came Love by Jackie Lavoie. Next question, where were you when you were reading it? She said, I was just at home, lying in bed, relaxing. I was getting farther along in my pregnancy, so it was getting a little uncomfortable to do anything. I finally got to my last question, why did my name stand out? Her answer, I thought Kaitlin was the most beautiful and unique name I have ever heard.

c. your choice – exploring your relationship with a machine

The relationship between laptop and owner is decided at first by sight, love at first sight, at least for me anyways. When I went to Best Buy to pick out a laptop, I knew right away that I wanted you. Your sleek look drew me in first, with your silver edges and black top with silver polka dots. The polka dots are adorable, yet grown up enough that I could get away with it. The ten key was another check in the column of must have’s. Once I found you, I couldn’t picture using any another laptop. You soon became my friend and my companion. You joined me in all my daily activities; checking my email, writing in my blog and doing my school work. I even started to share everything with you; pictures, music, emails, documents and so much more. When you crashed for the first time I thought it was the end of the world. But when you run start to run smoothly again it’s as if the world has been corrected. I can see myself in the mouse pad. Your buttons are smooth, and sometimes even squeak as I type. Your screen is bright and allows me to see a reflection of myself and objects around me. The quiet hum of your hard drive soothes me after a busy day at work. I would have to say the relationship with my laptop runs thick as blood. The relationship I have with my laptop is comparable to the relationship an alcoholic would have with a case of beer.  (Yes, Honey B., I did steal this from you.)
 
Teacher comments:
Good work on showing us the descriptions in the scenes. It's interesting that you used second person in the last one. Nothing wrong with that; but toward the end you slip back into first. So just watch POV (point of view) shifts. Great job on your formatting and grammar!

Honestly, I didn't even know I changed my point of view in my last story.  I really need to stay aware of this.

1.Creative Writing Assignment ~ Topic: Introductions (50 points – 750 words). The requirement this week is to create three writings that total 750 words. Here are the topics of each writing:

a. Retell an incident from childhood (250 words)  When I was around 4, I was sweeping the backporch of our house.  The broom I was using knocked some vice grip pliers off the roof, which then fell on me and cut my forehead right down to the skull.

b. Tell the story of how you got your name. Feel free to fictionalize if it makes the story better (250 words) My mom found my name in a book she was reading, it's that simple.  I had to fictionalize, a lot.

c. Your Choice – (250 words) pick any of the exercises in this chapter or choose an idea of your own. I ended up picking: Write a paragraph or poem exploring your relationship with a machine.  Describe the machine using at least three of the senses.  Needless to say, I wrote about the amazing relationship I have with my laptop.
 

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On Saturday I turned in my first Creative Writing Assignment.  This assignment stressed me out SO much.  Even though it was so simple.  I forgot how easily stressed I get when I'm in school and this is only one class, I can't imagine how I'd do with more.
 
 

 
"Shitty First Drafts" by Anne Lamott was one of my assigned readings.  I found it pretty interesting, so I thought I would share.
 
So, I decided to look for my teacher on Twitter and I found her.  If you want to, check her out.  She also has her own website.  She's an author as well, for young adults.