I'm throwing a pity party for one!

I had a mini breakdown last night.  These thoughts have been bouncing around in my head for the last week or two, but last night they finally just got to me.

A somewhat close friend of mine (she's also a coworker, and she also reads my blog occasionally) is going to start trying to conceive (TTC) soon.  And by soon I mean next month.  That freaks me out... I don't know if that's the words I want to use, but that's what comes to mind right now.  She already has one little boy (he turns a year old on February 2nd) and he was an accident.  I just feel like she's going to get pregnant before me.  I think things are going to be so simple for her, since she didn't even have to try the first time around. 

I'm throwing a pity party in my head and feeling awful about it.  I want her to be able to get pregnant and have another baby.  But we started six months ago and I'm not pregnant yet.  It's not a competition or anything.  I just want it to be my chance, my time to get pregnant.

She brings up the topic of babies all the time and sometimes I just don't want to talk about it.  It's just one of the constant things going on in my brain, so I don't want to talk about it all the time too.  I don't know how much that makes sense, but to me it does.  It's just tough, I know I haven't been trying very long, but as months keep passing the more I realize I want a baby.  I just wonder when it's going to be my turn.

So, in the past week I've found out TWO of the bloggers I follow are now pregnant. One has been trying for almost a year and the other has only been trying two months. It feels like I keep hearing about a new pregnant person everyday!

Pregnant:

• Joanna (at work)
• Nanette (family friend)
• Kati (Valisa's friend)
• Karisa (Valissa's friend)
• Lashelle (Valissa's sister)
• Briana (Rob's friends girlfriend)
• Baby Making Machine (blogger)
• Mommyland (blogger)

Recently Had Baby:

• Valissa (at work)
• Nicole (sister-in-law)
• Jen (Nicole's friend)
• Jacqueline (Rob's friends girlfriend)
• Elizabeth (at work)

That's thirteen!
And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head!
I mean really, are all these pregnancies around me necessary? As Whitney said, it's just because I want a baby, but there are more popping up now then ever before. I know Rob and I haven't been actively trying and it's only been three months, but it's still a bit frustrating when everyone around you is having a baby.
I just need to vent a little. I'll be fine.